December 24th.
This was the first birthday we celebrated without Ruth. Won't happen again until April. But it was also the first birthday celebrated in China. So many things were tempered by being here and being with extended family for all these celebrations.
I made our traditional birthday dinner (with a little help).. K'Leigh still breaded the chicken, like she had with Ruth. I let Jane make the mashed potatoes, and Marianne made the cake and the vegetables. But I cooked the chicken fried chicken and the gravy. I will say that my first attempt at gravy beat the pants off Ruth's first attempt.
Hers had to be sliced with a knife and laid on top of the chicken fried steak. Kind of like dinner jello, just thicker. The day I ate that.... that.... ummm, stuff, I honestly made that smile that says, "this is great, honey" all the time wondering if I was going to keep it down. It didn't taste so bad, but the consistency was...well...interesting.
The following was from something I wrote down about that evening.
“I am sitting here listening to Sara Groves. Putting some things in stockings. Now I am missing her. Man, those were precious times. Anticipating their excitement in the morning. Knowing things they didn't. Kids always figure some things out. And then we knew there were some that would blow them away. That was so much fun. And watching movies while we were building a bicycle, dressing the dolls in dresses and capes, setting up playsets, and hotwheels tracks. Trying to slip things into each other's stockings without the other one seeing. Succeeding most of the time. Snuggling and wrapping and taping and stuffing gift bags.
And each year it was different gifts, but always fun to think about what they would say the next morning. Whether it was a prosperous year or a year where most of the gifts came from Goodwill, it didn't matter. It was still Christmas morning.
We'll see how tomorrow goes. Usually it starts with everyone on the bed with us. Which was great when they were small and there were lass of them and we had a king sized bed. But last year when we had two that were over 6' tall and 7 of us topped the 100lb mark, and we had a smaller bed. It didn't break, but it sounded kind of different when you laid down after that day.
Then it was into the living room. Stockings first. Oohs and Aahs and nuts and an orange and an apple and hotwheels cars for everyone. And other fun gifts for everyone.
Then it was an orderly (for the most part) dispersal of gifts. I hand out each gift from under the tree, trying to keep everyone fairly even so they are kept busy while making sure that one kid doesn't just sit there with nothing to do. Then the showing of what everyone got. Finally I open mine. And then we eat some interesting breakfast usually consisting of chocolate, summer sausage, crackers, chocolate, cookies, crescent rolls, hot chocolate, maybe some eggs and pigs in a blanket.
Followed by nap time for Ruth. Each Christmas morning about 10 she was out for a couple of hours. Residual sleepiness from the late night before, combined with a deep contentment at having another really cool family Christmas.
Then the kids would go out and break something and cry about it, then get over it and go see what their friends had broken.
And K'Leigh would look out the front door each Christmas morning to see if Santa actually brought the pony this year. And each year my heart would sink knowing there was no pony. Maybe next year.
So this is a tough spot. But the rest of the last few days have been so great! Should I feel guilty? I don't, but it almost seems unfair to be having such a good time.
I did my last minute Walmart shopping just like every other year on Christmas Eve. And enjoyed it.
I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. Probably like most other Christmases. Except I don't think she'll look for the pony.”
Another good day though.
But, then comes Christmas....
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