Surgery update from Ruth September 8 2008

Sept 8 2008

(From Ruth)

Ruth’s turn…

OK Well

My favorite part was the first 24 hours on morphine and catheter and not having to get out of bed at all.

Actually my favorite is sharing everything with Kevin, he is my clown and my cavalier, and I had to tell him stop making me laugh cause it hurts too bad. He is the quintessential hospital partner

I miss you all, but I love seeing the slide show of you (the kids) on the computer. Hoping sometime we could do Bangkok together, just not under circumstances like this.

I think my two surgeons were slightly shocked at how big my tumors and gall stones were. I’ll bring my trophy home for you. I may even get a cd so you can see the mammoth tumor

I supposedly should be back in Kunming Sunday or Monday

How do you like your bedroom colors, boys?

Are you being nice to Dave Dave?


I am finding Him present in the pain. And in every other area of my life. “He is near to the broken hearted and the crushed in spirit” can also apply to me. (ps34).

Did you know you only have one gall bladder?

Take care of your gall bladder.

Love and kisses

Ruth

Humorous routine update September 9 2008

Sept 9 2008

The doctor came by today to check on Ruth. She is progressing fairly well. Right now the concern is her going to the loo. She has eaten solid food for 2 ½ days now and has not passed anything but water. They have a solution for that, but I would rather skip to the point. When she goes, she can go. If she feels up to it.

She had trouble going to sleep last night. If you know much about her, she can sleep on a freight train in a tornado, but last night she had to have a sleeping pill. She will be staying one more night here.

Leaving the hospital September 11 2008

Sept 11 2008

We are out of the hospital tonight and staying at a guesthouse north of Bangkok. Ruth is doing fairly well. She is having some back spasms and has a little trouble sleeping. But she looks happy to be out of the hospital.

I fly back tomorrow, Ruth follows in a week to 10 days.

Sorry you didn’t get any updates. It was a long day and night yesterday, on the phone from 12 a.m. to 3 a.m. with insurance.

And then two hours today with the billing department in the hospital.

Both groups were working with us, just speaking different languages, literally and speaking different languages, business-wise.

Ruth will have the computer with her until she comes back. Write her a note at ruthshorey@oasisis.org. She will be hanging out in the room a lot this next week.

Thanks for thinking about us.

Kevin

Worst day of my life September 12 2008

(This was the day Ruth died. I was on the  phone almost constantly from about 9 in the morning until 2 in the morning. Had to tell all 6 of the kids and several friends in person on the phone. Juggling three phones and three sim cards from three countries. It was the worst day of my life. One friend offered to come from the states to be with us, another friend did come from Seoul to be with us.)

 

 

Sept 12 2008

My emotions are all over the map.

Details. A clot dislodged somewhere and moved to her lung.

There were two nurses and a doctor staying at the place where we were last night.

I was about to leave to get on the plane when it first happened. She had a seizure of some sort, then she was better, but drained and found out within 3 minutes her blood pressure was low. The nurses and doctor were wonderful. The ambulance got here quickly, there were emt's, not common in Thailand, who began working on her. She arrived at the hospital conscious, and they worked with her too.

Her heart stopped, not a heart attack, 3 times and they did cpr and got her heart beating again. But there was nothing they could do. She was not in pain or distress. And wasn't aware of what was happening after the first stoppage at the hospital. I was with her when she left.

I am about done telling people in person on the phone.

We are heading home as soon as possible, hopefully Sunday. NICS is helping, and our insurance is also helping. Thanks for your offer to come. I know you meant it. You can do more for me there.

Kevin

Sad news report September 14 2008

Sept 14 2008

 

First I would like to say I hope to respond to all of your emails personally, but things are a little crazy now.

 

We don't have many details yet, but we are hoping to be back in the states by Tuesday to be back with the other kids.

 

They are surrounded by friends and family right now, as we are in Bangkok. My aunt, uncle, one cousin, and an administrator from the school are here to be with us until we go back.

 

We have people making arrangements and caring for us in so many ways. There are so many details to take care of here and there and I am so thankful we have people taking many of the burdens from us.

 

There will be more details to follow, feel free to pass it on to others

 

Never thought I'd be writing this so soon.

 

Ruth passed peacefully and in no discernible pain from a blood clot in her lung. Her heart stopped several times, but there was no heart attack, the blood clot was just inhibiting the heart from working.

 

She received better care than I could have imagined, there were two nurses and a doctor staying at the guest house where she was recovering after surgery. Within seconds of her first symptoms, she was being professionally cared for. There was just nothing that could be done. There were EMT's who administered care in the ambulance. The doctors at the hospital were excellent. They did everything they could to save her.

 

I was with her. She was peaceful. And now she's free.

 

We have been overwhelmed by the love shown to us by all of you. Thank you for being Christ to us.

 

Kevin

So tired of telling people and hurting them September 17 2008

(Two families from the Texas Christian Ashram, a family camp we attend each summer, lost their adult children and a grandchild in a devastating car accident. Here, I responded to one of the family members.)

Sept 17

 

I am so sad for you, your mom and dad. I know you love Ruth and us and are hurting still, and again. I wish I had not had to bring this news, especially to your family. I started crying again when i thought of your mom hearing about Ruth. I wish you did not know what we are going through. We love you guys too.

Kevin

(And this was written to one set of parents. At the Ashram last summer, trees were planted by the lake to remember them. This year another tree will join theirs.)

You are the last people I wanted to break the news too. It seemed rather unfair to bring this to you in light of your loss too. It hurts me to bring hurt to you.

You said something I have appreciated more than most of the things I have heard so far. You encourage me.

"Some things in this world just stink and defy any explanation, but God is faithful and His Word is always true.  He will uphold you and the Holy Spirit just never runs out of comfort."

Those words have rung true in me this week. Thank you so much for your courage.

Kevin

Seat belt moments September 18 2008

(The boys were flown from Kunming to Bangkok the day Ruth died. David, my cousin, and LeRoy, my uncle, flew with them. David accompanied us to Texas. We left Bangkok as soon as all the arrangements and legal dealings were taken care of.)

Sept 18 2008

 

We arrived about 9:45 p.m. at DFW. We stayed in the metroplex that night and then headed to East Texas Tuesday. Wednesday evening we will be in Hallsville. Here were some thoughts on the way over from Bangkok to LA.

Such mixed emotions. I am on my first 747 flight. Always wanted to do this. Ever since I was a wee bairn, I have flown all over the place and longed wistfully to be on this big flying building. I would even be jealous of the UPS guys that got to fly on the jumbo cargo runs.

But it’s just not the same. Some of the luster is gone. I wanted to share this with my best friend. This and so many other little things. She liked the things I didn’t when we would go to eat. I thought about saving the yogurt on the plane for breakfast for her this morning. I hate yogurt.

Then it caught me again, like trying to get out of the car with your seatbelt still on. I forget she’s not here until it’s too late to prepare my heart for the jolt back into the car. I just want to get out, but I keep getting pulled back in.

I don’t mind remembering. I even embrace the sadness at times, so I don’t get hardened and brittle. Brokenness is where the potter can start over. Remake me Lord, I am broken. I want to stop forgetting so the sadness doesn’t startle me, just gently reminds me to miss her.

One day…

Peace and comfort I have received in the knowledge that so many people are doing so many things to make this easier. People caring for my children, comforting them, hugging them, standing in the gap until I can get back to them. Some friends have gone to the house to get it ready for us to arrive. There are even people making plans for the memorial service, so we won’t have to carry the entire burden of that.

The celebration service is Saturday 11 a.m. at First United Methodist Church in Longview. It was one of the few places in town big enough for all of you to attend. Plus she loved the sanctuary there. And it is not a funeral, but a memorial celebration. The family will not be all in black, nor do we expect you to be either. A wise friend from Kunming noted Ruth dressed so colorfully and vibrantly (inside and out), that we should honor that. (He had only known her a few weeks, yet she had already made an impression). Good idea.

I only packed to stay a few days with Ruth after surgery. My aunt came down from Kunming to stay with Ruth for a couple of weeks while she recovered fully. Then I think they were going shopping. Ruth had an excuse (she didn’t really need one), since she had lost a dress size or two after the operation and recovery.

My cousin David packed for all three boys in 15 minutes as they were trying to catch a flight to Bangkok, and it was leaving soon. (Thanks David, you got us together quicker than I could have dreamed).

Since the boys and I brought very little clothing with us to Thailand, we went and bought some things to wear this weekend. Things Ruth would have liked us in. (Plus they were on sale, she would be so proud). So join us in this celebration of a life that brought so much joy and wisdom to so many. Share with us the joy and laughter she brought to us. Cry with us too. It is so sad to go on without her. But she is doing her funny little dance now in front of a Savior who she loved so intimately. Let’s get together and share what she means to us and how God used her to show us joy and grace and beauty.

Kevin