Tuesday 17 March 2009

Remembering dark days December 9 2008

December 9 2008 

The following is tough to send out. It may be offensive to some people. It is from a dark time just before we went back to China. There were some things that happened in the few days after this day that reminded me how many people showed us love and mercy and compassion in ways I didn’t see at the time. 
 

October 25 

Today has been a bad day. Yesterday too. Feeling very flat and cynical and worn. Selfish, impatient, some other negative feeling I cant' find a moniker for. And knowing it's part of the package doesn't make it suck any less. 

Tomorrow we go to Dallas, Monday we fly out. I've been looking forward to this day for a while, but now all I see is packing, and driving, and people who need to see me more than I need to see them. Just let me go to Olive Connexion in the mountains near Kunming and sit. Quiet. With no one to attempt to console me. 

There it is. Emotional vomit. 

Anybody seen the paper towels? 

Lots of people care. I have received over 400 emails in addition to the hundreds of cards and gifts. 

Tomorrow will be better. Many things on my lists will be completed. Maybe I can sleep on the plane this time. 

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